Most of us are relatively uncritical in our choices. No matter how much good we did or don't do, if we had done something differently, our life would have been different. However, if we had reacted differently, there are so many unique consequences that could have happened. Would that specific song have broken up the couple at the bar? Did that friend get pulled over? Or did you stick up for them when they said "no thanks"? Some events are completely out of our control and we have to learn that every time.
If so, what traits caused this? It is the mental background of the people we know, friends and relatives, who influence us the most. If we are making every possible effort to accept a new acquaintance, how will we react when he/she confronts us with our unsavory and possibly even vulgar behavior? How will we react when we are exposed to non-accepting behavior of our own family members or our own friends? There is a significant role of these beliefs in making choices and in the response to those choices.
How we choose to respond to the world is how we spend our time and affect others. Does it mean that we are intrinsically irrational in the way that we act? Do the genes we inherit determine the temperament that we have? Is there a secret to our emotional balance? Or is that just our way of being? The fact that we do something (right or wrong) that is eventually deemed to be a mistake, or is found not to be so big an ordeal as we thought, is still somehow surprising to us.
Maybe we choose to act differently today than we did yesterday, even if the outcome is the same. We might judge that others are a more deserving human being because of the events that have happened to them. We might focus on the future and think, "if we only got that promotion or a new opportunity, the event will be a load off."
So is it true that people have greater capacity for growth and renewal if they allow themselves to feel the good and bad emotions of their emotional life?
Since the love between us is self-sacrificial, we're usually very careful about what we say and how we act. If it doesn't work out the way we wanted, we get angry and act out. However, if we both approach the problem with the same attitude, there's a lot less room for anger and harm could be avoided. This is what I call the "happiness process": If it works out, it's great. However, if not, we might have a hard time accepting it and trying again in life.
We often make conscious choices about how we will react. Sometimes the world is not a dark place. In the moments when we are upset, angry, happy, we have every reason to want to intervene and change things, and we can make it happen. But if we do not are unsure and helpless, we will revert to our initial faulty response. We could always give some attention to your feelings. But in the end, our decision about how we act will affect our emotional state.